Being a female lawyer has a few perks: the money can be good, the prestige can be great. But as the saying goes, it is lonely at the top. I started thinking about all of this after my esteemed colleague, Toby a/k/a @gnawledge, passed me a dating site for lawyers. He’s heard a number of of my weirdo dating tales as a single female lawyer.

So, with some trepidation, I signed on to After joining, I immediately noticed a high sleeze factor: players (pronounced: play *yuhz) are clearly obvious. Some of the screening questions include: 1) are you a millionaire? If so, how big of one? 2) what is your occupation—and lists homemaking. Hey, wait a minute! This is a sham! I want my money … oh, wait, its free. Whew. Thank goodness I gave my junk e-mail address.

Over the years, both my sister (she is a solo IP attorney) and I have learned to not tell the men that we meet that we are lawyers. It either intimidates them or little dollar signs start flashing in their eyes.

Or, you get the Zorro types who look upon you like you are some sort of Catherine Zeta-Jones who is ready to duel. And the battle of wits turns them on.

Sadly, if you are like me and don’t like to argue, it is fun for a little while but then it just turns into constant bickering. Blah. What kind of fun is that? And then they sulk when the debates are over and you’ve defeated them.

Then there is the other strong female role model: Mrs. Brown. If you don’t remember the movie, Queen Victoria, played by Judie Dench, has her own devoted manservant, John Brown, who pledges his undying allegiance. Then he dies. Although I could live with that, I am not sure any man out there loves me that much—one divorce has already proven that to be true.

So I yearn to create a new model, one where contracts are made, promises are kept and men and women are respected for what they both bring to the table. Sigh. A real Boy Scout. Although I am no Angelina Jolie, perhaps the new role model is Mr. & Mrs. Smith?

Just watch your back.