Image [cc] billychic

Usually, I ignore unsolicited emails that rant about a vendor or association or how I could benefit from having a real editor review my posts before hitting “submit.” Every once in a while, however, I do get some gems, and this weekend I got one I wanted to share with you. The email comes from someone named “Phil Batman” (which I am assuming is a pseudonym) and it was sent to me and 19 executives at Thomson Reuters. I guess Phil thought that I would appreciate the humor, even if some of it is ‘inside baseball’ and may not be understood by most folks that don’t have a good understanding of the current set of players at Thomson Reuters. Hint: a quick Google of some of these names may clear up why they are being mentioned.

So, straight from my in-box to your browser, I give you “Phil Batman’s Top Ten Items on the Reuters To Do List”:

10. Learn difference between a product and a hole in the ground
9.   Review pay package of CTO James Powell
8.   Rehire Tom Glocer to sell toasters door-to-door
7.   Lead story on every Reuters newswire: “Eikon products still dependable and affordably priced!”
6.   Three words: “Eikon With Porn”
5.   Find out who the hell this “Dave Thomson” is (Singers enter)
4.   Have Anna Nicole Smith keep marrying rival executives until they’re all dead
3.   See if Powell’s engineers can help Albert Lojko use his cache of iPhones, iPads, & MacBooks
2.   Assemble all employees for a huge party followed by massive layoffs
… and the number one item on the Reuters To Do List:
1.   The Late Show With Phil Brittan