(With sincere apologies to Sam Beckett.)
Deweygon, sitting on
a first year associate, is trying to write off his client’s bills. He crosses out and uncrosses out.
a first year associate, is trying to write off his client’s bills. He crosses out and uncrosses out.
He gives up,
exhausted, rests, and prints out another copy.
exhausted, rests, and prints out another copy.
As before.
![]() |
Image [CC] – Merlaysamuel |
Enter Howreymir.
Deweygon: (Giving
up again) Nothing to be done.
up again) Nothing to be done.
Howreymir: I’m
beginning to come round to that opinion.
beginning to come round to that opinion.
Deweygon: Ah,
so there you are again. I thought you had gone forever.
so there you are again. I thought you had gone forever.
Howreymir: I
may have.
may have.
Deweygon: As
long as you’re here, you can help me with this.
(writing again) More partners…
equals more hours… (with rising
intensity) equals greater revenue …
long as you’re here, you can help me with this.
(writing again) More partners…
equals more hours… (with rising
intensity) equals greater revenue …
Howreymir: Equals
less profit.
less profit.
Deweygon: (sinking, resigned) Equals less profit.
Every time, the same result. When will they get here!?
Every time, the same result. When will they get here!?
Howreymir: Today.
I feel it.
I feel it.
Deweygon: You
said that yesterday.
said that yesterday.
Howreymir: But
today, I am sure.
today, I am sure.
Deweygon: And
if you are wrong?
if you are wrong?
Howreymir: Then
tomorrow, or next week perhaps.
tomorrow, or next week perhaps.
Deweygon: And
what shall we do until then?
what shall we do until then?
Howreymir: We
could fire associates… or IT staff.
could fire associates… or IT staff.
Deweygon: Or we
could make them partners and use their “buy-in” as cash to keep us going until
they arrive.
could make them partners and use their “buy-in” as cash to keep us going until
they arrive.
(The first-year associate,
still under Deweygon, begins nodding his head vigorously, wagging his rear, panting
like a dog, and pulling wads of cash from his pockets. Howreymir casually picks
up the money and pockets it himself.)
still under Deweygon, begins nodding his head vigorously, wagging his rear, panting
like a dog, and pulling wads of cash from his pockets. Howreymir casually picks
up the money and pockets it himself.)
Howreymir: No.
That will not keep us.
That will not keep us.
Deweygon: For a
while, perhaps?
while, perhaps?
Howreymir: No.
(The first year
sticks out his lower lip in an exaggerated pout, lowers his head, and begins to
sob silently.)
sticks out his lower lip in an exaggerated pout, lowers his head, and begins to
sob silently.)
Deweygon: Then
we are doomed?
we are doomed?
Howreymir: They
will come. They have the answers.
will come. They have the answers.
Deweygon: But
until they get here!?
until they get here!?
Howreymir: We keep
hitting our hours.
hitting our hours.
Deweygon: I have hit 52 hours in the last 2 days!
Howreymir: But we have no clients to bill.
Deweygon: No clients.
Howreymir: We
could get some.
could get some.
Deweygon: We
should wait and see what they say first.
should wait and see what they say first.
Howreymir: Who?
Deweygon: Martin
Luther LLP
Luther LLP
Howreymir: Good idea. They will show us what we need to change.
Deweygon: They
have the answers. They know how to do things.
have the answers. They know how to do things.
Howreymir: What
if they don’t?
if they don’t?
Deweygon: What
do you mean?
do you mean?
Howreymir: What
if they think we know how to do things?
if they think we know how to do things?
Deweygon: Maybe
we should fix things now before they come, so that we can help them when they
get here?
we should fix things now before they come, so that we can help them when they
get here?
Howreymir: We
could probably improve our processes.
could probably improve our processes.
Deweygon: We
could certainly improve our efficiency.
could certainly improve our efficiency.
Howreymir: We could definitely improve our technology.
Deweygon: That
will cost money.
will cost money.
Howreymir: They
are bringing the money.
are bringing the money.
Deweygon: Unless they don’t have that either.
Howreymir: You think they don’t have money?
Deweygon: They
approached us. If they have so much money and so many clients, then why would
they come to us.
approached us. If they have so much money and so many clients, then why would
they come to us.
Howreymir: We
have prestige.
have prestige.
Deweygon: We
are prestigious. And great lawyers.
are prestigious. And great lawyers.
Howreymir: Truly
great.
great.
Deweygon: The best of the best!
Howreymir: The
top-tier of the top-tier!
top-tier of the top-tier!
Deweygon: The last of the white shoes.
(Both look down and
notice they are wearing brown and black shoes. A noise off stage.)
notice they are wearing brown and black shoes. A noise off stage.)
Howreymir: What
was that?
was that?
Deweygon: It’s them, they’re coming!
Howreymir: Can
you see them? Do they have money? Or clients?
you see them? Do they have money? Or clients?
(Both look intently
off stage for a long moment.)
off stage for a long moment.)
Deweygon: I don’t
see them.
see them.
Howreymir: It was the wind. But they will come. Today.
Deweygon: Or
tomorrow. And they’ll know what to do.
tomorrow. And they’ll know what to do.
Howreymir: In
the meantime, there is nothing to be done.
the meantime, there is nothing to be done.
Deweygon: No. Nothing
at all.
at all.
(Fade to black)