Image [cc] fixedgear

As we say goodbye to 2011 and say hello to 2012, I’d like to take a moment to mention some of the things I’d rather not see make it into the new year (at least on my Twitter Feed.) Besides running into this poor sap that thought getting a Fail Whale tattoo is going to be something that will cool in 2012 (plus, that puppy looks infected to me), there are a few more things I’d like to see go into our collective pasts. So, if you are on Twitter, here’s a few things I’m begging you not to do next year:

  • Don’t make us feel bad for you by sending a tweet to Ashton Kucher, and honestly thinking that he will tweet you back
  • Don’t brag about becoming the “Mayor of Smith, Jones, and Williams law firm” (especially when you don’t even work at that law firm!)
  • Please don’t send anything that ends with the oft-used hashtag #fail
  • Don’t brag about your Klout score (if you have to tell people you have “klout” you probably don’t)
  • If you’re a celebrity with 100K followers, don’t call breastfeeding #nasty
  • Please stop the tweets that tweet about the value of tweeting
  • Find the backspace button and don’t tweet with more than 5 @mentions or 5 RT’s
  • For goodness sake, don’t send me a tweet that say “Follow Me… I’ll follow you back!” (come on… you’re better than that!!)
  • I know some of you love those “Inspirational Tweets” but post those on Facebook instead, okay??
  • Stop sending me tweets that say how sad you are to find out that I, @glambert, am not singer Adam Lambert (although, I am quite fashionable for a law librarian and have been known to break out in song.)
Being the “smart old guy” isn’t too bad, though.

Whew… I feel so much better getting those off my chest. I wanted to say anything that mentioned #election2012, but I have a feeling those are going to be unavoidable in the next 320 days or so.

Got some tweet-types you’d like to see go away in 2012? Put ’em in the comments. It’ll make you feel better.