On Being a Female Lawyer

Being a female lawyer has a few perks: the money can be good, the prestige can be great. But as the saying goes, it is lonely at the top. I started thinking about all of this after my esteemed colleague, Toby a/k/a @gnawledge, passed me a dating site for lawyers. He’s heard a number of of my weirdo dating tales as a single female lawyer.

So, with some trepidation, I signed on to www.datelawyer.com. After joining, I immediately noticed a high sleeze factor: players (pronounced: play *yuhz) are clearly obvious. Some of the screening questions include: 1) are you a millionaire? If so, how big of one? 2) what is your occupation—and lists homemaking. Hey, wait a minute! This is a sham! I want my money … oh, wait, its free. Whew. Thank goodness I gave my junk e-mail address.

Over the years, both my sister (she is a solo IP attorney) and I have learned to not tell the men that we meet that we are lawyers. It either intimidates them or little dollar signs start flashing in their eyes. Or, you get the Zorro types who look upon you like you are some sort of Catherine Zeta-Jones who is ready to duel. And the battle of wits turns them on.

Sadly, if you are like me and don’t like to argue, it is fun for a little while but then it just turns into constant bickering. Blah. What kind of fun is that? And then they sulk when the debates are over and you’ve defeated them.

Then there is the other strong female role model: Mrs. Brown. If you don’t remember the movie, Queen Victoria, played by Judie Dench, has her own devoted manservant, John Brown, who pledges his undying allegiance. Then he dies. Although I could live with that, I am not sure any man out there loves me that much—one divorce has already proven that to be true.

So I yearn to create a new model, one where contracts are made, promises are kept and men and women are respected for what they both bring to the table. Sigh. A real Boy Scout. Although I am no Angelina Jolie, perhaps the new role model is Mr. & Mrs. Smith? Just watch your back.

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Lisa Solomon said...

The very first line of text on DateLawyer's home page is false.

DateLawyer claims to be "[t]he first personals dating site dedicated to lawyers dating as well as high caliber singles dating!" Actually, the first legal dating site was LawyersInLove.com. Although the site is now defunct, if you google "LawyersinLove.com," you'll find many references to it, including this story about the site from Law Crossing: http://www.lawcrossing.com/article/3673/Lawyers-in-Love-The-Legal-Industry-s-Online-Dating-Destination/. There's also another lawyer dating site called http://LawDate.com.

My company, The Billable Hour Company, worked with LawyersInLove.com to develop a collection of printed greeting cards especially for lawyers in love. You can find them at http://www.thebillablehourcardstore.com/catalog/?id=725 (there are more cards about lowers and love from other designers at http://www.thebillablehourcardstore.com/catalog/?id=787).

Laura Suttell said...

I can't wait to check the greeting cards, Lisa. I went to DateLawyer's web site a few minutes ago after reading about it in an ABA email. I'm not sure what to think about one of the photos of Featured Members - the one with the couple. Hmm.

Michael said...

Being a female lawyer has a few perks: the money can be good, the prestige can be great. But as the saying goes,

lawyer marketing >

Elena Albamonte,President, LawyersinLove.com said...

Dear Lisa,

I really appreciate your comment about LawyersinLove.com, and for setting the record straight about our status as the first online dating site exclusively for lawyers! In addition, LawyersinLove.com is alive and well,and will be celebrating our 5 year anniversary on February 14!


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